Heidi Klum is Easy

[Gallery not found]

It must have been really difficult for Seal on his first date with Heidi Klum. She was a gorgeous supermodel, he looked like he bobbed for barb wire. Seal must have been pretty nervous, not knowing what to say or the right time to make a move. No, not really. He pretty much got laid. Heidi Klum says:

We went somewhere very nice for dinner it was very good but I can’t tell you exactly what we did,” she told Pop Tarts last week with a cheeky smile. “It would be too naughty and you can’t run it anyway. It would just be bloop bleep bloop bloop bleep. But it was a very good first date…”

One of my friends dated this chick all through high school but never got any because she wanted it to be special on their wedding night. They got married the day after graduation and after they had sex on their honeymoon she locked herself in the bathroom and cried for two hours, then three weeks later he told me she was pregnant. After the baby was born she quit her job without telling him and cut off all her hair and started wearing capris and Keds and sweatshirts and just focused on the kid and made my friend feel guilty whenever he tried to touch her because she said he was putting his needs before the baby’s. I’m really not sure where I was going with all this, but I get the feeling my friend might want to stuff Seal in a barrel and throw him out of an airplane.

Heidi Klum and Seal in French Elle: