Papa Joe Simpson Wants One Million Dollars

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Always on the lookout for new and exciting ways to whore out his daughters, Joe Simpson has reportedly been contacting all of the celebrity gossip magazines and demanding $1 million in exchange for an exclusive interview with Ashlee Simpson regarding her pregnancy. As expected, his pitch was met with an enthusiastic “Meh.” Page Six reports:

The deal would include photos of Ashlee – taken by Joe, of course, so he can make more money – an interview and photos of the baby when she has it,” our source said. Sadly, there is some interest – but not for anything close to $1 million. One magazine editor said the pictures would fetch “$60,000 maybe – but definitely not a million. The timing is a little suspicious. Her album [‘Bittersweet World’] is dropping next week, and there was little to no interest until now. Ashlee’s lucky she got pregnant, frankly.” But even with the marriage announcement, “Joe has an unrealistic expectation of what Ashlee can command,” the editor said.”

If a magazine actually agrees to pay for this, they should at least have the decency to have pictures of that money in a big garbage bag being dunked in gasoline and taken up into space and launched towards the sun. You know, just to clear up any misconception that they just completely fucking wasted $60,000.