Ashlee Simpson Screwed Mariah Carey

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Like most lead singles, Touch My Body, Mariah Carey’s first single off her new album, E=MC2, was released prior to the album’s official launch date of April 15th, but several more tracks have been suspiciously leaked online. Why, who hatched this diabolical scheme? Ashlee Simpson, of course. KBS Radio says:

Industry insiders believe Ashlee Simpson’s camp may be responsible for leaking songs off Mariah Carey’s new album in hopes of it creating less competition for the 23-year-old, whose album drops a week after the record-setting “diva.” A source told MSNBC, “Joe Simpson has every right to be nervous about Ashlee going up against Mariah. They are backed into a corner with this release date since they already changed it once. Their only option in fighting the Mariah machine would be to create a way to make the album’s release less newsworthy.”…Simpson’s Bittersweet World was originally set to be released in late 2007, but at the last minute was pushed back to April 22, 2008.”

Ashlee Simpson’s album must be coming out in some sort of magical realm of fairies and dragons, because I’m pretty sure that on Earth, Ashlee Simpson’s autotuned empty-calorie snack isn’t much competition for Mariah Carey. It’d be like a regular shark fighting a mutant genetically engineered shark. Sure, they’re technically both sharks, but it will become painfully obvious pretty fast that one of them might have somewhat of a disadvantage.

Pete Wentz, in shoes, is 5’1″.