Katie Holmes is Collapsing

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The pressure of being a robot wife with no independent thought is apparently too much for Katie Holmes as she has been reportedly suffering from dizzy spells and debilitating headaches for weeks. Although the cause of these blackouts and fainting spells is unknown, sources say that Katie Holmes, even though very thin, wants to be skinnier and is obsessed with dieting. Star Magazine reports:

When Katie recently lunched at her favorite restaurant, L.A.’s Joan’s on Third, it was obvious that something was terribly wrong. She seemed exhausted, her skin was pale, and she looked feeble and emaciated. “She gave us a weak smile and wave before leaving out the back door,” says an eyewitness at the restaurant. Once outside, a confused and unsteady Katie braced herself against the doorframe before her bodyguard carefully guided her into a waiting SUV.”

However, the main reason for Katie Holmes’ health problems appears to be Tom Cruise himself. With his high energy and intensity coupled with his exacting nature, Holmes appears to be crumbling under Cruise’s unrealistic expectations:

To complicate matters even further, while Tom goes off for days at a time (“His rule is ‘You can be with me, but don’t ask about it,'” says a source), Katie is overseeing the interior design of their lavish $35 million Beverly Hills mansion. “To him, the home is a status symbol,” says a source, “so it’s on Katie’s shoulders to pull off something beyond magnificent, something Tom can brag about. She’s giving herself headaches thinking about it and making herself sick.”

Man, poor Katie. Headaches? A $35 million mansion? When oh when will God deliver her from this suffering?

Katie Holmes, pre-assimilation: