Jessica Simpson is Still Stalking John Mayer

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The Sun is reporting that John Mayer posted a blog about what appears to be Jessica Simpson. This is strange because his blog hasn’t been updated since January, but I choose to believe this because it’s long been reported that, Jessica Simpson is a cavernous landfill of need and insecurity. Mayer’s blog says:

Dear Ex Lover,

“Perhaps you didn’t understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I’ll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore.

I don’t know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I’m done trying.

“I hope this is enough closure for you.


“P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me.”

John Mayer looks like an elementary school music teacher, so this is probably working wonders for Jessica Simpson’s self-esteem. Not that it can get much worse, the last three years have pretty much done the trick. She’s tried just about everything to stay famous, so I’m sure 2009 will have wondrous things in store for her! You don’t see many rodeo clowns with DDs.

Update: The letter is posted on John Mayer’s blog here.

Back before John Mayer chewed his arm off: