Jennifer Lopez Finally Crapped Out Her Kids

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Jennifer Lopez delivered twins early this morning at a Long Island hospital. The boy and girl, born eleven minutes apart, are said to be healthy. More things I don’t care about were also said.

The babies were born early Friday in Long Island, N.Y. The girl was born at 12:12 a.m. and weighed 5 lbs. 7 oz., and the boy followed at 12:23 a.m., weighing 6 lbs. “Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon,” Lopez’s manager Simon Fields tells PEOPLE exclusively.”

In a related IDLYITW exclusive, we have learned that everybody involved with this story went back to being irrelevant and uninteresting.

So long to this Jennifer Lopez: