Jennifer Lopez Sold Her Kids

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Unlike Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who sold the first pictures of Shiloh to OK! for $4 million to avoid paparazzi frenzy (then they donated all the money to charity), Jennifer Lopez managed to trick People Magazine into thinking that the American public would be on pins and needles until they saw pictures of her yet to be born twins. The celebrity magazine has reportedly offered Jennifer Lopez a staggering $6 million for the American rights to the “exclusive” photos. However, OK! magazine has secured the international rights for an unreported sum. So, why didn’t they want the American rights? For the same reason you think. MSNBC says:

One magazine industry insider said that frankly, Lopez’ appeal in the U.S. isn’t as broad as many people – including Lopez – would like to think. “Look at her track record with her movies, and look at her album sales. The U.S. market hasn’t been fascinated with her in some time,” the insider explained. “It makes more sense to not spend a fortune on photos that won’t cause a noticeable increase on the newsstand. This just isn’t going to sell like Shiloh (Jolie-Pitt), and $6 million is a lot of money.”

Marc Anthony looks like Master Splinter and Jennifer Lopez looks like the chick who refills salsa at Mi Casita, so my confidence in these pictures isn’t the greatest in the world. At best, these pictures might make me want to rethink my stance on a border wall or inspire me to volunteer with the Goya Build-A-Float Foundation. Because Puerto Ricans love parades, you see.