Britney Spears Needs Government Assistance

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On Tuesday, at the request of Britney Spears, Osama “Sam” Lutfi reportedly contacted a former representative of California governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Why? The most insane reason you could possibly imagine. NY Daily News says:

Britney says her civil rights have been violated and she wants to talk to Arnold about it,” says a source with firsthand knowledge of the conversation. Last month, Spears was twice committed into mental care. But she also believes her inability to keep a lawyer in her continuing custody battle with Kevin Federline is a “civil rights” issue. “She wants the governor to look into why she can’t get an attorney,” according to my mole.”

Wait, it gets worse. Much worse:

Sam was chewing on his dinner while he was saying all this into the phone.” The source also said Lutfi was highly critical of Spears’ father, Jamie, during the conversation. But while he was seeking an introduction to the Governator, he didn’t want to give out Britney’s phone number because it was “confidential.” “He wanted Schwarzenegger to call him, and he said he’d hand Britney the phone,” laughs our ear-witness.”

Man, let’s hope the Governor of California can help because someone needs to solve the mystery of why Britney Spears can’t keep a lawyer. Maybe whoever it is can hold her hand while they’re walking her back into reality and telling her that it might have something to do with this, this, this, this, this and this. Britney is the only one fucking up Britney’s life. In related news, only you are standing in the way of your dreams of financial independence. With my new real estate investing toolkit, you’ll be on your way to the life you’ve just only imagined. Call today!

Britney at Starbucks yesterday: