Britney Spears Thinks Her Kids are Dolls

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In the span of 42 days, Britney Spears has been involved with a hostage standoff with the police, lost visitation rights to her two children, been held for psychiatric evaluation twice, and has been revealed to be a meth addict. Yet for reasons unknown to Britney, she doesn’t seem to understand why she can’t have her kids back. Page Six says:

Though she is no longer committed to a psych ward, Britney Spears’ mental health has continued to get worse, according to those closest to her. Mom Lynne Spears has told former son-in-law Kevin Federline that Britney acts like a small child, cannot comprehend any of what’s going on and talks about sons Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, like they are toys. “She is like a little girl with dolls,” says a family insider, “and does not understand why she can’t have them back.” According to the insider, Kevin is adamant that Britney not see their kids right now, and the law is on his side. “He will not allow the boys to be hurt by her anymore,” the source continues. “Kevin does not want her to see them until she agrees to get more help.”

Man, this really must be hard for Britney. Life in between smoke breaks must be pretty boring now. Yet somehow, I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that Kevin Federline might be over thinking this. All he has to do is dress up two scarecrows in argyle sweaters and jean shorts then drop them off at Britney’s house. Odds are favorable that she won’t notice until Christmas.