Britney Spears Had Breast Implants

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For years, the mystery of why Britney Spears’ tits look like deflated punching bags have haunted mankind. Now, in a not so shocking exclusive in this month’s issue, Rolling Stone may have found the answer! Page Six reports:

Britney Spears had her breasts enlarged as a teenager, but later decided she was a big boob to do it and went back under the knife, the new issue of Rolling Stone reveals. The pathetic pop tart, now locked up in a padded cell, “regretted the implants, particularly because her chest was still growing,” the magazine reports. “And when her natural breasts became larger, she had the implants removed.” Spears has always denied she was surgically enhanced.”

Rolling Stone goes on say that Britney was upset because the implants didn’t even have a creme filling. That made Britney sad. When doctors explained to Britney that she couldn’t squeeze delicious creme from her boobs, she covered her ears and ran down the hallway. “But I like cupcakes!”