Britney Spears Loves Paparazzi

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Yesterday, Britney Spears finally showed up for her court ordered deposition with Federline’s lawyer, Mark David Kaplan. Her arrival, or course, was covered by the paparazzi; a group which many Britney Spears fans feel is a major part of Britney’s ongoing problems. Maybe they should call and let her know that. Page Six says:

Lensman Alison Silva tells celebrity private eye Paul Barresi: “Britney is in on it. [She] calls the paparazzi before she goes out. We know 15 minutes before she leaves the house. It’s all staged.” Silva adds that when four photographers were arrested last week for chasing the increasingly demented pop tart, “one of [them who] works for my company told me that Britney sent him a text message and said she was sorry. She tried to talk the cops into not arresting them . . . Money, fame, the excitement. It’s part of her life.” Barresi told Page Six that after reviewing footage of Spears with Adnan Ghalib, “[he] appeared to purposely position Britney in full view of fellow paparazzi to help them get the shot . . . It appeared that Britney is in on the sham.” Barresi says if anti-paparazzi laws are ever enacted, celebs in cahoots with them should be just as liable.”

This makes sense because Britney Spears couldn’t buy a real friend at a Build-A-Bear Workshop. The paparazzi are the only people who constantly kiss her ass and tell her she’s beautiful. They bring her coffee, they pump her gas, they pay for the things she steals, they give her rides, they date her, they have sex with her. The only thing the paparazzi haven’t seemed to figure out yet is how to get the rotation of our planet’s axis to spin this dumb bitch off the Earth. If they could get started on that, I’d really appreciate it.

Always the classy bunch, here’s Britney showing up to her deposition without a bra and Lufti wearing the same shirt he wore two days before: