Britney Spears Lost Custody and Visitation Rights

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Gee, what a surprise. People reports:

Kevin Federline is “awarded sole legal custody and sole physical custody of the minor children,” court Commissioner Scott Gordon said in a written ruling after an emergency hearing. Gordon said Spears’s “visitation with the minor children is suspended pending further order of the court.” The order is in effect until Jan. 14. After the 40-minute hearing, Federline’s attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan said: “There are no winners here.” He said he was “not happy about any of the events that have happened.”…Spears, meanwhile, is not facing any criminal charges – for now. “The LAPD is not planning to file any charges against Ms. Spears at this time,” Officer April Harding tells PEOPLE. “The investigation is ongoing.”

Wow, the judge couldn’t just post a MySpace blog or send Britney a text? We needed a hearing for this? Because unless Kevin Federline has a gateway to hell in his basement, this was pretty much the consensus.

TMZ has the court docs here.

Bonus: Here’s video of Kevin Federline protecting his kids from a crazy paparazzo last night. Federline is driving the pick-up truck, and the kids are in the white Escalade in front of him.