Worrying about your pending child custody can be difficult, and some might say the best way to take your mind off that is to go to a bar and get drunk and high and dance on a table. Like Britney. On Monday, along with Alli Sims and several of her friends(?), Britney went to Winston’s and basically acted like Britney. Then, it got much, much worse:
As the evening came to a close, at about 1:30 a.m., Britney headed into the ladies room – again – and was spotted chatting with a brunette female bartender. “While waiting for a stall to open up, Britney turned to the bartender, who was wearing a low-cut black dress, and said, ‘You have nice tits! Mine are all saggy!‘” an eyewitness tells OK!. The bartender, somewhat dumbstruck by the comment, replied, ‘Thank you?!!” Brit then asked the girl, “Do you wanna change? I wanna switch outfits!! Let’s switch!!'” “At this point, the bartender felt that she had no choice but to comply,” the eyewitness says. “The ladies proceeded to switch outfits and Britney happily walked back to her booth in the bartender’s duds. The bartender, clearly taken aback, but with a great attitude, went back behind the bar and continued serving drinks in Spears’ French maid outfit, telling patrons, ‘I’m wearing Britney’s costume, including her bra! She made me take her bra!'”
Then they all decided to go back to Britney’s house where Britney dressed up in a scuba mask and a barrel with suspenders then grabbed a fork and chased an imaginary hot dog just to fully drive the point home that she has completely lost her fucking mind.
Britney in the bartender’s clothes (possibly NSFW):
Britney before she “switch”ed:
britney-spears-upskirt-halloween
Six Reasons Why Battlefield Earth RULES!
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Great End-of-the-World Porn
I have a personal weakness for what can be described as end-of-the-world porn. Movies about the distant future, where human society has been obliterated, and only a few caveman-like creatures remain, digging through abandoned malls and shops, well that's what gets my motor running. I like the poignant sci-fi postulation that society will quickly vanish at some point in the future, and it won't take long for us to revert to savagery. Overgrown parks, familiar landmarks now coated in centuries of lichen, human cavemen. It's all awesome. And Battlefield Earth contains it all, complete with a visit to Fort Knox.
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Pulpy Myth
That the lead character in Battlefield Earth is named Johnny Goodboy speaks volumes as to the tone of the piece. This is a pulp myth through-and-through. A noble human caveman does intellectual battle with an evil race of greedy super-aliens. This is the kind of story that could have been written in the 1950s, and that's no bad thing. Many call this film campy. I would say that it's deliberately melodramatic. That the filmmakers were trying to be somewhat over-the-top on purpose. That they were trying to evoke the pulp serials of yore. In short, this film accomplishes exactly what Star Wars accomplished. A fun, tongue-in-cheek homage to pulp fiction. That means Battlefield Earth is at least as good as Star Wars.
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Poignant Comment on Education
In the distant future, the dregs of humanity live in fear of the evil Psychlos who, long ago, took over the planet. Many humans are enslaved, believed by their conquerors to be little more than beasts of burden. Our hero, Johnny Goodboy, eventually challenges and defeats the villains because they educated him using a teaching machine. There is a complex ambivalent message going on here. Education, the film says, offers salvation from oppression. Knowledge can literally free you. But that knowledge may not come from your own seeking of it. Knowledge is not a passion project. Passion projects are little more than hobbies. Sometimes, knowledge has to be forced on you. This is a complex approach to the acquiring of wisdom. Wisdom requires the making of mistakes and perhaps even being oppressed so that you may seek an alternative. That's smart stuff.
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Psychlos are Fun Villains
Psychlos are nine-foot-tall, yellow-toothed creatures with extra fingers, giant ropy hair, and big clompy feet. Their mere size makes them threatening and imposing, but their attitudes make them fun. Psychlos are greedy, opportunistic jerks who bicker, drink, murder, extort, and backstab at every possible opportunity. They're like a cross between the Ferengi on “Star Trek” and House Harkkonen from Dune. And there's definitely something enthralling and entertaining about villains who are so gleefully and deliciously evil. Who cackle and rub their hands together, sadistically torturing their pet man-animals. They make amazing pulp villains who are fun to quote and to imitate. “While you were only learning to spell you name, I was conquering galaxies!”
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Travolta Sells It
John Travolta is a good actor. He can handle subtle character work as well as charming leading man roles. Battlefield Earth, however, offered him another opportunity: balls-to-the-wall scenery chewing. A villain like Terl would not have worked if he were subtle or complex, and I think Travolta knew this. As such, he tuned his performance toward the 1966 “Batman” series, creating a gleefully awful monster. Yes, he overacts. But in a film like Battlefield Earth, overacting is totally appropriate.
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What's Scientology Got to Do with It?
Many people are uncomfortable with (or critical of, or merely baffled by) the ego-driven, Hollywood-infused Scientology. The author of the original Battlefield Earth novel, L. Ron Hubbard, founded the religion, and Travolta is a famed proponent. If the movie version of Battlefield Earth has anything to do with Scientology, I haven't been able to figure out what it is. So for those of you who feel the film is polemical in any way, I say: calm down. It's not preachy.
