Gimme Gimme McDonald’s

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Four days after handing over her kids to Kevin Federline two days before the judge’s imposed deadline, Britney Spears missed her first scheduled supervised visitation with her children. Her excuse? A faulty intercom. Life & Style reports:

The night before, “She checked into the Beverly Wilshire hotel. But early that morning, she realized it wouldn’t be right to have her first visit with the boys in a hotel. She needed to see them at home, with their things around them,” says the insider. “She and Alli [Sims] headed to Brit’s Malibu house. They went to sleep as soon as they got there. Brit was up in plenty of time to prepare for the boys’ visit at 10 a.m. “But she waited, and waited, and they didn’t show up. Alli’s cellphone rang, and it was Kevin [Federline’s] people, saying that the boys were going back to Kevin because she hadn’t answered the intercom at the gate! “Brit didn’t realize the intercom wasn’t working. She begged them to bring the boys back. But they wouldn’t. She was devastated that they wouldn’t turn around.”

Can’t we all just go ahead and agree that Britney Spears hates her kids? I mean, that’s really the only explanation, right? Because if you’re going to tell me that Britney was waiting at the window with her hair in a bun and wearing an 1800s school teacher dress with a broach on the neck while she clutched her handkerchief with both hands against her heart, you’re an idiot. The kids’ driver was probably sitting in Britney’s driveway honking the horn and shooting flares while Britney was asleep in the bathroom with one shoe on and her head in the toilet. If it was up to Britney, the only way her kids could contact her is if they learned to fly one of those planes you see at the beach with the banner flying in the back.

Britney and J.R. Rotem at McDonald’s last night. Gee, I wonder whose idea that was?