Lindsay Lohan is Getting Out

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Although she was found with drugs and a married man’s penis inside her in a Cirque Lodge bathroom, Lindsay Lohan is apparently cured and will be leaving rehab this weekend. New York Daily News reports:

Lohan has been staying at the Cirque Lodge in Sundance, Utah, since the first weekend in August. She was infamously carrying cocaine in her pocket during a July DUI bust, and later tested positive for the drug. Asked where she was headed on her release, the pal responded, “I don’t think she knows yet.”

The “I don’t think she knows yet” really means “I don’t think she’s decided yet,” because if you think Lindsay Lohan is magically rehabilitated and planning to volunteer at homeless shelters or minister to death row inmates, you’re an idiot. Sorry. Because the only list Lindsay is making is of the places that have alcohol, cocaine, and cocks. Or any variation of the three. So, there’s a good chance she could end up at Pure. There’s also a good chance she could end up at the bus station.

Yeah, Lindsay’s not an attention whore at all: