More VMAs Crap

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Even though Megan Fox looks like she does outcall, it doesn’t change the fact that I’d marry her. I mean, you know, if that’s what it took to bang her. What do you think I am, some kind of pussy? The guy at the florist said a lot of guys buy six dozen roses every day. What’s the big deal?

Beyonce looked like she’d gained about 50 pounds last night, so I have no idea why she insisted on wearing that dress. Her sister didn’t look much better. Damn, look at those thighs. I bet I could tie their legs together and make a raft. White water rafting, an activity the whole family can enjoy!

Hayden Panettiere is legal now, but I’m just really not that into her. I guess for the same reason I’m not really into midget porn. Sure she’s cute, but so is a baby koala.