Jessica Simpson is Jealous

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Although magazines keep telling me that she’s an international sex symbol, Jessica Simpson still can’t find a man and is now reportedly jealous over her ex-boyfriend John Mayer’s relationship with Cameron Diaz:

A source close to the singer tells Us Simpson is “really jealous” that ex John Mayer is seeing Cameron Diaz. “She had her mouth open a mile wide when she found out,” says the source. “She just freaked.” Simpson, 27, parted ways with Mayer, 29, in May after dating him on and off for seven months, and “she thinks about him all the time,” says the source. “She is so not over him.”

We’d all have to agree that the real loser in all this is John Mayer’s penis. It’s attached to a famous musician and all it can seem to get into is two of the most overrated beasts in Hollywood. When asked how he felt, John Mayer’s penis said, “Hey man, do me favor. See that knife over there?”

Jessica Simpson in L.A. a few days ago:

Cameron Diaz on a date with John Mayer a few nights ago: