Britney Spears Probably Had Sex With Criss Angel

[SinglePic not found]

Britney Spears and Criss Angel met at Cravings restaurant in Los Angeles last night, then they went out and partied and ended up at the Tower-Beverly Hills hotel at 4 a.m. this morning. Everything about this is gross. Criss Angel has the worst taste in everything, especially women, and Britney Spears has the lowest standards ever. If Britney’s standards get any lower, she’ll be married to a bucket of mud by the end of the year. No, mud is too classy for her. Just the bucket. Unless, of course, this is some brilliant plan of Criss Angel’s to make Britney Spears disappear forever, then I’m sorry for insulting him.

But not really… I saw Criss Angel at McCarran airport in Vegas a few months ago and he was really short, greasy, and painfully ugly. He was also wearing more necklaces than June Bug in I’m Gonna Git You Sucka.

Source/Photo via