Britney’s Friend Got Served

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Kevin Federline’s lawyer sent security expert and ex-Israeli commando, Aaron Cohen, to hunt down Britney Spears’ assistant/”cousin” Alli Sims this weekend so she could be served to testify in the ongoing custody battle between K-Fed and Britney. K-Fed’s lawyer is also looking to question J.R. Rotem, Britney’s music producer (and fuck buddy). Federline’s lawyer is hoping both Sims and Rotem will be questioned under oath about Britney’s poor parenting skills and erratic behavior. Cohen found Britney, Alli and J.R. at a party in Hollywood at 2:30 a.m. on Sunday.

He infiltrated the grounds and said, ‘Are you Alli Sims? Here is a legal document … you have been served,'” a source said. “Cohen knows his stuff. He was in the Israeli Army. Let’s put it this way, if Alli were a terrorist, she would have been taken down.”

What exactly does “taken down” mean to them? Because according to my definition of terrorism, Britney Spears is a terrorist. And “taken down” means buried up to her neck at a dog park with a sign pointing to her head that reads POOP HERE. So I’m pretty sure that gives Cohen the go-ahead to take Britney Spears down.

Bra please, Britney:

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