Britney Spears is Protective

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Laura Wasser, Britney Spears’ lawyer, asked that the court seal the the child custody provisions of the finalized divorce settlement between Spears and Federline yesterday. Wasser claims that the provisions, which detail the timeshare schedule and transportation of Sean Preston and Jayden James, would allow the media and potential kidnappers to easily figure out the location of the children at any given time. Wasser says:

Such information greatly increases the chances that the actions of the media could threaten the safety of the minor children by, for example, causing a traffic accident or by exposing the minor children to criminals who might target the minor children for financial gain.”

If I’m Sean Preston or Jayden James, I’m so pissed right now. They’d probably rather take their chances at Neverland Ranch than with another trip outside with this retard. I’m surprised they’re not pretending to be 15 year old girls on MySpace. At least the guy who shows up will buckle their seat belts.

Here are some pictures that showed up online yesterday from the same night these were taken. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of another person more qualified to raise children:

Note: Britney is wearing professional fishnet dance tights which are designed to compress and smooth the appearance of your legs and buttocks, so don’t be fooled, her ass and legs really look like this.