Lindsay Lohan Was Framed

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In a statement to Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush, Lindsay Lohan accepted full responsibility for her actions that led to her 2nd DUI in as many months. No, wait, whatever means the exact opposite of I what I just said:

Yes. I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy.”

Meanwhile, back in reality, reports say that the Santa Monica police only pulled Lindsay over after a receiving a 911 call from the mother of Lohan’s former personal assistant, saying that she was being chased by Lindsay. Police then found cocaine in Lindsay’s pocket. So either the Santa Monica police is a front for the free masons and this was some sort of plot to retrieve the Declaration of Independence out of Lindsay’s SUV, or Lindsay Lohan is just this fucking stupid. Man, I don’t know what to believe.


Lindsay the night of her DUI:

Lindsay on Leno last night:

Part 2 after the jump