Lindsay Lohan is a Complete Retard

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Lindsay Lohan is reportedly asking anyone who will return her texts to smuggle sleeping pills into Promises clinic for her. Lohan has been complaining that she can’t sleep even though she demanded on having her own private room instead of the usual shared quarters. She also has plenty of time to relax and unwind because she refuses to take part in any therapy sessions. Sessions that are paramount to the substance abuse recovery process. A source says:

Lindsay managed to keep her Blackberry and is texting her friends – begging them for sleeping pills…She’s just playing at getting sober.”

Lindsay’s time is rehab isn’t a total waste of time though:

Lindsay’s using her month-long stay to plan her 21st birthday party, scheduled to take place days after she’s released,” the friend claimed. “Lindsay’s number one priority is her birthday bash – and she’s not planning a sober party.”

You know you’re a few floors from rock bottom when you spend a month in rehab planning how you’re gonna get fucked up when you get out. But hey, Lindsay Lohan. She’d pour shots in a daycare.

Lindsay on one of her many trips away from Promises “working out” in Malibu:

Photo credit: Linds-Lo