Lindsay Lohan Loves Knives

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From a party that reportedly took place four months ago, News of The World has uncovered pictures of a coked up Lindsay Lohan in varying degrees of sluttiness. The pictures include Lindsay playing with a knife, including holding a knife to another girl’s throat and stripping. A source says:

These photos are very worrying. Lindsay is so out of control. She should not be left within a million miles of a knife. The states Lindsay gets herself into she is lucky to be alive.”

Meanwhile, Lindsay is having a hard time adjusting to life in rehab without drugs and penis:

On the first night she couldn’t stop crying. Since then she’s refused to follow the rules and keeps having hissy fits about people…She cries all the time at what a mess her life has become and how she has behaved like a complete tart…She just got so carried away with bedding men like Jude [Law] and James Blunt she couldn’t stop going out…She was hooked on pulling those kinds of men and took drugs to give her the confidence to approach them. She needs help to stop her obsession.”

Lindsay’s long been known to be a cutter and a borderline lesbian, so it’s good to see there are parties where she can go and let her hair down. And possibly try to figure out why she thought screwing fairies like Jude Law and James Blunt would be a good idea. The only way they could help her self-esteem is if she challenged them to a flat tire changing contest or the soon to be Olympic event, “Let’s see who can almost throw a football like a boy”.