The Dallas Cowboys are Doomed

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Carrie Underwood and Dallas Cowboys quarterback, Tony Romo, made their first “official” appearance as a couple at the Academy of Country Music Awards show in Las Vegas on Tuesday. Great. As soon as they were “rumored” to be dating last season, the Cowboys started dropping more balls than a teabagging porno. I was hoping he’d get it out of his system by now, but no. Listen, Yoko Underwood, you need to go shake that ass around Peyton Manning and leave Romo alone. Lord knows the poor guy has enough distractions with all the signals coming from those satellite dishes on the sides of his head.

Note: Don’t get me wrong, I would use those hot little satellite dish ears as handlebars any day. Call me, Tony!