More Costume Institute Gala Crap

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I have no idea what the hell the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala is, but apparently they have some good drugs there, because just about every celebrity on Earth showed up last night, and here are a few of the distinguished guests:

Jessica Simpson arrived with John Mayer in one of their rare public outings as a couple. Jessica made sure her tits were hanging out, because well, she kinda has to. Look at that face and those hands and tell me that “penectomy” has never came up in her doctor’s office.

Update: The look on that woman’s face in the background cannot be ignored. Thanks, anonymous-whoever-you-are in the comments area!

Of course Lindsay Lohan was going to show up. She would get fisted by The Hulk if she thought someone would point a camera at her.

I’m not a stylist, but it looks like neither is Scarlett Johansson‘s, because I thought she was supposed to be hot, not look like George Washington.

Thanks old rich guy. Thanks for marrying Salma Hayek. Thanks for turning one of the hottest pieces of ass in Hollywood into some Mexican pregnant lady. The only good thing about these pictures is that she isn’t wearing purple. I’m sure it would get a little weird with everybody asking her if she’s really Ronald McDonald’s best friend.