Paris is Trying Really Hard Not to Get Gang Raped

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Lawyers for Paris Hilton filed a notice of appeal yesterday in an effort to overturn her 45 day jail sentence for violating the terms of her probation and it is believed that the appeal will be centered on Paris’ claims that Elliot Mintz, her publicist, told her she was okay to drive. Paris’ lawyers have been busy this week as they appeared in another Los Angeles court yesterday to defend Hilton against a $10 million defamation suit against model, Zeta Graff, where once again Paris is set to blame her former publicist, Rob Shuter. However, Shuter, under oath, said he leaked to the tabloids exactly what Paris had dictated. Elliot Mintz, who was fired on Friday, was offered his job back over dinner with Hilton’s parents last night. A source explains the shocking reason:

It’s purely out of desperation, as many other publicists have turned Paris down. Paris just can’t be trusted. Taking anything she tells you at face value is a mistake…This girl will never admit any responsibility. She blames her publicists, her mother blames the judge, but when will Paris finally admit she has some responsibility?”

Short answer, never. People like this will always blame others for their problems. Paris has willingly and publicly broken the law for years without care or consequence, so it’s no surprise to see her pissing in her pants when reality slaps her right in her mouth. This type of irresponsible behavior should not be tolerated and needs to be stopped at an early age. That’s why I advocate neighborhood stonings. Have a problem with a kid keying your car? Looks like it’s his problem now!

On her MySpace blog, Paris linked to a petition which asks Gov. Schwarzenegger to “pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake.” Because everyone accidentally drunk drives and accidentally forgets they’re not allowed to drive.

So be sure to sign our No Clemency For Paris Hilton petition!

Update: Elliot Mintz has been rehired. How did he get so lucky?!