Paris Hilton is Going to Love Jail
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Although the Hilton family thought their money could keep Paris out of jail (they have now resorted to contacting California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger for help), Paris will report to Century Regional Detention Facility on June 5 as planned. What does she have in store?
Yesterday a woman visiting her mum at the jail said inmates shower together and a large group of “very masculine lesbians” prey on them. She added: “This place is bad. Paris is not going to make it.” Denise Chavis, visiting her sister in the jail, warned Paris: “If you act like you’re all high-class and uppity, you’re done.”…And Hilton better hope the inmates don’t remember the videotape broadcast widely on YouTube that shows her mocking Jewish and African-American people. “She better learn to bite her tongue”…..In the big house, Paris will have to make two pairs of socks, one bra, two pairs of panties and two blue jumpsuits last for a week. “You have to take your underwear and wash them out in the shower,” said Chavis, whose sister has been in the jail for the past month on a stolen car charge.”
Meanwhile, Kathy Hilton is doing what any caring parent would do:
…Kathy Hilton was brainstorming ways to financially capitalize on Paris’ trip to the clink. Mama Hilton has been reaching out to NBC and TV celebrity shows, pitching an exclusive interview with Paris and her. “Even if something bad happens – like Paris’ sex tape – the family finds a way to capitalize on it,” said the source, referring to Hilton’s infamous Internet porn tape made with ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon. “They’re not so rich that they can ignore the money that could be made off an interview. In fact, I could see them spinning it off into a whole new reality show.”
If I was the judge, as soon as Paris walked into the courtroom I would have unleashed the attack bears, but I guess being gang raped in the laundry room by a bunch of lesbians with mullets and tats on their neck would be an acceptable #2. Either way, justice has won. I don’t know if you can tell this or not, but I’m hopping up and down in my chair and clapping really fast.
Paris and Kathy Hilton on may 6th: (Look at Kathy Hilton’s feet! Ewww … ewwwww!!)
Update: Paris Hilton’s attorney filed a notice of appeal for her today…