Lindsay Lohan is Still Drunk

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In the least surprising news of the day, Lindsay Lohan is reportedly still an alcoholic after her trip to rehab. Despite her claims that she is clean and sober, Lohan was spotted sucking down champagne and shots at Winston’s last week. A source says:

They brought a bottle of champagne to the table. Lindsay picked up her glass and drank it. Later, a waitress brought over a tray of shots for the table. Lindsay took a shot along with all of her friends. Lohan has laughed off reports that she’s drinking, but a source insists that the actress goes “to great lengths to make sure no one sees her drink” – sometimes having friends buy the drinks so that they don’t show up on her credit-card bills or insisting she never bought the alcohol. “On three separate occasions, at the end of the night, when all the alcohol was gone, she threw a fit and began crying and denying she ever had ordered the bottles, saying she’s not allowed to drink. Now she has her friends order for her – and sometimes she brings her own liquor, which she hides in an oversized purse!”

It’s pretty bad when you have to be MacGyver to find ways to make people think you’re not a drunk, but hey, that’s what alcoholics do. Lindsay isn’t even 21 yet and her liver is already trying to tap out. The good news is she’ll probably be dead in five years, the bad news is Britney Spears and Paris Hilton probably won’t be.

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