Is Angelina Jolie Dying?

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Her high-profile commitments with the UN coupled with the death of her mother, have reportedly taken a toll on Angelina Jolie’s health, but after appearing at the Global Action for Children news conference yesterday looking emaciated and exhausted, sources say that Angelina’s rapid loss of weight is a result of a potentially deadly disease.

….Jolie is “losing her hair”, suffers “uncontrollable shaking” and is plagued by blinding headaches. Jolie’s brother James Haven has publicly stated he is worried about his sister’s health, though he was more concerned with her shocking weight loss since giving birth to baby Shiloh last May.”

I can’t say this is a shock because who knows what Angelina has caught from whatever villager who gave her a bone necklace. Of course you’re gonna catch something in a place where a goat and a car battery are considered infrastructure. But really, I don’t what I’d do if she died. Breaking into a morgue carrying condoms and a mix tape seems like it would be pretty hard.