Papa Joe Simpson Wants Britney Spears
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Joe Simpson, the brilliant mind behind the legendary careers of Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, has decided to bless the entertainment world with his Midas touch once again. Lucky us! The New York Daily News reports:
According to an inside source, Joe Simpson is considering managing Spears’ career, or what’s left of it…The former Baptist minister even tried to set up a meeting over the weekend with Spears, our source attests – though Jessica’s rep Cindi Berger denies it… Spears has made more than $100 million from records and endorsements, while sales of Simpson’s five albums were lukewarm. But Joe Simpson adeptly steered his daughter into movies and lucrative appearances…Insiders even credit Joe’s guidance for helping the sisters avoid the excesses that sent Spears to rehab at the urging of her family, doctors and manager, Larry Rudolph.”
Papa Joe is a self-serving, creepy perv, and at this point, a talking llama could manage Britney’s career. In fact, the llama wouldn’t even have to talk, he could just wear a tie. And maybe carry a briefcase. Then the next time Britney drives down PCH with her kids on the hood of her car, the llama could grunt and stomp on his calculator. I’m not exactly sure what he’d type, but I’m guessing it would make more sense that anything Britney has to say.
Britney on April 20th: