Sepp Blatter Resigns as FIFA President


Sepp Blatter has announced that he will resign as FIFA president following the arrests made to several high-profile figures in the company, meaning that we could soon see a governing body in football that isn’t utterly contemptuous and nigh-on evil – though don’t hold your breath on that one.

The 79-year-old ballbag of a man has called for an impromptu congress in order to assign his successor to the throne of the footballing world’s equivalent to Star Wars’ Galactic Empire, where he has assumed the role of Emperor for far longer than any man responsible for the deaths of over 1,200 migrant workers should have. 

Also See: FIFA 16 Will Feature Women’s Football for the First Time Ever

Blatter’s role in assigning World Cup 2018 and 2022 hosting duties to Russia and Qatar, the latter of which has seen an astonishing number of tragic deaths during the development of its stadiums, led many to point out that maybe some money had exchanged hands between the two nations and the organisation. It seems that these calls of corruption were partially justifiable given the recent arrests made in regards to money laundering and other charges, but despite this Blatter insisted that he would continue in his role with FIFA. Now he has fortunately backtracked on his commitment to the organisation, announcing his retirement.


Blatter released a statement regarding his departure, saying: “While I have a mandate from the membership of FIFA, I do not feel that I have a mandate from the entire world of football – the fans, the players, the clubs, the people who live, breathe and love football. 

“Therefore, I have decided to lay down my mandate at an extraordinary elective congress. I will continue to exercise my functions as FIFA president until then and I will urge the executive committee to organise that at the earliest opportunity.”

He added: “The next ordinary Fifa congress will take place on 13 May, 2016 in Mexico City.

“This would create unnecessary delay and I will urge the executive committee to organise an extraordinary congress for the election of my successor at the earliest opportunity.

“This will need to be done in line with FIFA’s statutes and we must allow enough time for the best candidates to present themselves and to campaign.”

The congress is expected to take place between December 2015 to March 2016, with Blatter saying that he has resigned because he wants “to do the best for FIFA,” adding: “I have thoroughly considered and thought about my presidency and the last 40 years in my life. These years were closely related to FIFA and the wonderful sport of football. I appreciate and love FIFA more than anything else.”

Did he mean money? I think he meant money.

Photos: Getty Images