8 Cat Methods For Waking Up Their Owners

There are many perks to being a cat owner. Their purrs are very soothing and filming a cat’s antics might get you many views on The YouTubes. However, as every cat owner knows, in the morning those fuzzy assholes will do anything to wake you up and get fed. They’re like walking, ruthless little alarm clocks. Here are 8 cat methods for waking up humans:


Biting and Scratching

Not in the face! Not in the face!


Walking On Chest and Face

What better place to take a stroll than a person’s body?


Batting At The Door Spring

Okay, time to chop that thing off.


Chin Touch

This is considered subtle for a cat.



The classic.


Scratching Eyes

Blind humans can still get them food.



How punk rock of this fat cat.


Swinging A Baseball Bat

Not-so-desperate times call for overly-harsh measures.


Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Header via.