Quiz: Is Your Neighbor a Serial Killer?
Is your neighbor quiet? Maybe a little too quiet? Does he paint in his spare time and drive an ice cream truck? Is there strange smells and sounds coming from their apartment? You might want to watch your step. You could have a serial killer on your hands. And not a cool serial killer like Dexter.
We here at CRAVE have found out if your neighbor is Rick Moranis from Ghostbusters or Christian Bale in American Pyscho.
Tred lightly and take the quiz:
1. You notice a strange smell is coming from your neighbor’s apartment. Chances are it’s probably:
a.) Indian food.
b.) Backed-up plumbing.
c.) Rotting garbage.
d.) That twelve year old who’s face is all over the news.
2.) Does your neighbor like to accessorize?
a.) No, not really.
b.) He wears a watch, I think.
c.) A butcher’s apron.
d.) A necklace made of human ears.
3.) What kind of car does your neighbor drive?
a.) A Pinto.
b.) A Range Rover.
c.) A flashy sports car.
d.) A windowless rape van.
4. Your neighbor drops a receipt outside his apartment, it’s a purchase from:
b.) Home Depot.
d.) Bed Bath & Ball-gags.
5. It’s 2 o’clock in the morning and you hear a woman scream from across the hall, you think:
a.) “God, I hope they’re okay!”
b.) “Probably just the wind.”
c) “Someone’s enjoying Tyler Perry’s new movie”
d.) “Someone woke up in the middle of their surprise lobotomy.”
6. You invite your neighbor over to a party you’re having, the excuse he gives is:
a.) “I’ll be out of town.”
b.) “Love to, but I’ll be busy.”
c.) “I’ll be too busy burning my penis is red-hot candle wax just to feel alive.”
d.) I’m havingsomeone for diner that night.”
7. You spot your neighbor hauling something heavy into the trash bin outside at 3am. You ask him about it the next day, he says:
a.) “I was getting rid of some old junk.”
b.) “You… saw… me?”
c.) “My cat had an unfortunate run-in with a lawnmower.”
d.) I decided to pitch some cereal bowls I made out of human skulls.”
8. What is your neighbor asking to borrow?
c.) Butcher knife.
d.) Sulfuric Acid.
9. You’re having a friendly discussion with your neighbor about favorite childhood memories, they respond:
a.) The circus.
b.) Riding bikes for hours on end.
c.) Lighting things on fire.
d.) Strangling their first puppy.
If you answered mostly (a), you don’t have a serial killer, you have a loser.
If you answered mostly (b), you can sleep with your doors unlocked.
If you answered mostly (c), you don’t have as serial killer, you just have a creep.
If you answered mostly (d), your neighbor is probably going to make a suit out of your skin.
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