Ten Strikes: Most Horrific Cinematic Castrations

Ten Strikes: Most Horrific Cinematic Castrations

Hold on to your junk, men. "Ten Strikes" counts down the most cringe inducing castrations ever shown on film. Spoilers abound.

10. Once Were Warriors (1994)

After a huge party leaves squatters all around their house, the beloved friend of the Heke family, Bully, in a drunken stupor, sneaks in to the oldest daughter Grace’s room, and proceeds to rape her. Horrified and ashamed by this act of sexual violence, she attempts to reveal this to her abusive father Jake who rips her treasured journal in two and brushes her aside. The confrontation proves tragic as she commits suicide in the backyard. In the climax, mother Beth reveals to Jake what happened after reading her journal, and the ensuing carnage is a shocking and well deserved bit of comeuppance as Jake (Temuera Morrison) beats Bully into a literal pile of puss, and stabs him repeatedly in the crotch with a jagged broken bottle before being held down by a pile of bar goers. Payback is sweet.

9. Born on the Fourth of July (1989)

Oliver Stone’s typically cynical take on American propaganda and the effect of the Vietnam war was a constantly vicious and disturbing glimpse at the men who fought for us only to return home with zero respect, terrible medical treatment, and psychological trauma. The patriotic Ron Kovic returns home with really nothing but a stump as he’s blown up in the heat of battle and left with no private parts. Stone poses this element not just as a castration of the body but of a man’s masculinity that was defined by his love for his country. Sorry to get all philosophical, but I thought this definitely warranted a slot here. And his angry pulling of his catheter from his stump in an angry furor also makes for some cringing, male or female.

8. Planet Terror (2007)

Abby really knows how to have a ball. Literally. As the psychotic weapons trader, Naveen Andrews is delightfully sadistic as Abby, the stereotypical Afghani who takes from the men who take from him. Though sporting only a small role Abby reveals that he has a penchant for castrating his help who do him wrong and proceeds to chop up the junk of a fellow trader who accidentally lost his cargo, resulting in carnage on the town. Being taken down by a group of men we’re subjected to cutting sounds, plenty of screaming, and two testicles dropping at his feet. Later we discover he collects them, and proceeds to anxiously stuff them in his pocket when they fall to the floor.

7. Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

After proceeding to rape a village woman and systematically violate an entire tribe of cannibals just looking to go about their business and survive, the team of ill-fated documentary filmmakers find themselves in the middle of an ambush in the chaotic climax as the people they exploited and destroyed attack and rip them to shreds one by one. From the removal of heads and guts, and violation of the sole woman of the film group, right down to the sadistic Alan Yates who has his entire bottom half (with testicles and all) ripped by hand and held high as trophies with a truly horrendous example of what happens when you poke a sleeping lion.

6. Pulp Fiction (1994)

You’ve all seen it, and yes, you can barely imagine what excruciating pain Zed was in in his final moments alive after having his junk blown to bits by a 12 gauge by vengeful mob boss Marcellus Wallace after being anally raped against his will. Zed, the homosexual deviant and his sidekick Maynard made the mistake of not watching Butch, and then there was the mistake of leaving the weapons lying around. Zed’s final mistake was in not jumping out of the way and having evidence of his manhood turned into Jell-o thanks to a very vindictive Wallace who would make his life a living hell very soon. What happened to Zed? Zed’s dead. That’s all we need to know.

5. Ricco the Mean Machine (1973)

What happens when you sleep with mob boss Don Vito’s incredibly gorgeous wife? Well, first there’s the hot woman, then there’s the hot sex, then there’s the thugs beating on you, then there’s the begging and pleading, and then… well, Don Vito rips your testicles and penis with both of his hands and shoves them into your mouth, and then he takes you and throws you into his handy tub of boiling acid. Don’t sleep with Don Vito’s wife, okay?

4. Little Children (2006)

Ronnie J. McGorvey isn’t just a pedophile, but he’s also a sexual deviant who is incapable of functioning in society. This is made apparent when after a series of dates with a cute introvert leads to molestation and creepy masturbation while he warns her not to tell anyone. She, of course, begins to cry while he rubs one out. When McGorvey’s only link to sanity (his mom) dies, he finds himself ravaged by angry neighbors and decides to cut his temptation off at the source. Literally. In the twisted climax, McGorvey confesses that he won’t hurt children again revealing his self-inflicted neutering while standing in the middle of an empty playground. You have to appreciate the effort.

3. Hard Candy (2005)

Cold, calculating and utterly sadistic, Hayley Stark is able to predict her attacker Jeff’s movements at every turn, deducing his desires and physical advantages whenever he thinks he has the upper hand. It’s like she’s done this before or something. Jeff insists he’s not a pedophile; Hayley disagrees, and displays an enormous sense of investigative skills finding his stash. After discovering his extensive collection of child pornography, she decides to perform some "maintenance" on him after he attempts another attack on her. Waking up strapped to a table hours later, Hayley decides to surgically remove all of his reproductive organs. She removes his advantage over his victims, if you will. Even in spite of Jeff pleading and howling for mercy at her utterly empowering position, Hayley persists, and Jeff watches while she surgically cuts his privates off… and grinds them in his trash compactor… just in case. It was her final excruciating practical joke.

2. Teeth (2007)

In "Teeth" you’ll get not one, not two, but three (!) castrations and for that, it gets a high spot on this list. Sure the movie is great, and yes it’s a brilliant allegory for our fear of sex, but there’s the utterly gory and disgusting nut chomping that will have men grabbing their pieces and re-considering forcing themselves on a woman. "Teeth" is the story of young religious girl named Dawn and a deformity on her body called Vagina Dentata, a reflex that causes her vagina to clamp down sharp teeth whenever she’s penetrated against her will, or is angry at whoever is currently–ahem–into her. This of course causes many men to desire this basically unattainable pure girl and use sex as a form of violence. The poor bastards have no idea what follows, but the frantic screams and bloody stumps should serve as a hint to the audience and leave the men to mutter "Ow!" every time.

1. I Spit on Your Grave (1978)

Whenever I talk about it, whenever someone recounts it, hell, whenever I even think about it, I’m compelled to grab my crotch and protect it. This is the film that said "Yes, it’s okay to cut off our balls!" After being gang raped over, and over, and over, Jennifer appears years later to strike back at her tormentors one by one, and saves the most horrific punishment for her primary abuser. She meets him, lures him back to her house, and convinces him to engage in some bath play, she then proceeds to rub him until he achieves an erection and then… I’ll just ask: What’s more terrifying than being enticed and fondled by the beautiful Camille Keaton, only to notice that she’s taken your erection and disconnected it with a rusty butcher knife, and then locks you in the bathroom to bleed to death? Ouch. It’s still one of the most painful on-screen deaths of all time, and one of the worst torture sequences ever filmed.