Thieves Attempting To Siphon Oil Pump Out Raw Sewage Instead

An RV dump station sign on the edge of a building. Photo: Akchamczuk (Getty)

If you’re keeping score at home, instant karma is still undefeated. Furthermore, it’s certainly showing no signs of letting up anytime soon.

According to The West Australian, a couple of morons trying to siphon fuel from a tour bus parked for the night appear to be the latest victims of comeuppance. Police say they mistakenly hooked their hose up to bus’ sewage tank instead of the one containing petrol.

“We can infer they beat a very hasty retreat, with a somewhat bitter taste in their mouth,” Laverton Police Sen. Sgt Heath Soutar said. He jokingly added that his officers “have absolutely zero interest” in tracking down the stolen goods while hoping “word of mouth” would aid in their search.

If you were looking for frame of reference: Plumber Tackles ‘Volcano Of Poo’ (NSFW Photo)

If police actually decide to track these guys down, perhaps a peek into recent purchases of Scope at the Laverton equivalent of CVS is in order. It’s unknown exactly how many bottles of mouthwash would be enough to wipe the taste of tour bus raw sewage, but our guess is somewhere between 12,000 and every bottle in the country.

Especially when considering the fact that the average age of the person riding a tour bus is somewhere around 84 (and assuming they all had to use the john on the bus), it was probably an emergency poop consisting of scrambled eggs and osteoporosis pills. There isn’t enough mouthwash on the planet to ever totally rid your mouth of that much damage.