Canadian Government Says It’s Not Airplane Poop Falling From The Sky

Airplane toilet flushing. Photo: Swell Media (Getty)

The only thing worse than fecal matter falling from the sky is not knowing where it came from.

According to The Sun, that is the hell some Canadians in British Columbia are currently living, as at least 17 different instances of poop falling from the sky have recently been labeled as “not aviation-related.” Despite popular belief of locals, apparently it is not the result of planes dumping their crap.

Susan Allan and her son Travis said their car was “splashed with sewage” on May 9. Three days later, another man said he walked out of his house and found his car covered in feces. Most recently, a family sitting on their deck in Yellowknife had the “pleasure” of being caked with falling sky shit.

airplane poop

“It was like somebody’s septic tank burst,” Linda Smith said. “It was really bad.”

Canada may have dropped the ball on this one, but it’s nothing compared to Alaska: Health Officials Think 51 Percent Jump In Gonorrhea Cases Is Just ‘Kind Of Alarming’

Because the Canadian government loves their constituents, they launched an investigation to see if the fecal showers were a result of planes flying overhead. It’s was either that, or local eagles are having a field day in Taco Bell’s dumpsters. Their conclusion? It was not a result of planes dumping their poop.

That’s not sitting well with the locals. Many believe it’s nothing short of a government cover-up. As for us, well, we’re just glad we don’t live in Yellowknife.