Massive Captive Gator Refuses To Go Down, Knocks Out Trapper And Smacks Cop

Trespassing Alligator. Photo: strathroy (Getty)

You really have to hand it to Florida police officers. When they’re not busy responding to reports of a guys claiming to be Captain Kirk while masturbating (true story), they have their hands full with dudes on bath salts eating the faces of other human beings.

And now, it appears as though even the alligators in Florida have zero respect for the badge.

To be fair, though, they don’t have much respect for anyone: Florida Man Bathing In Pond Loses One Of His Balls In Alligator Attack

According to Deadspin, several police officers and a trapper were recently tasked with removing a massive gator from an Ocoee residence. To say it didn’t go well would be a bigger understatement than saying I would like to hold Kate Upton’s hand. Watch as the bound and gagged beast does his best John McClane impression, head-butting the trapper into happy time while reminding one of the officers his tail can also wreak some serious havoc.

The guys at Deadspin did a great job of breaking down one of the finest “not today” moments in alligator history. Our favorite is the elderly woman dressed in her Sunday best stumbling backward in disbelief after seeing the gator show the trapper who’s really in charge. It’s pretty much the same reaction we’d expect from her if she correctly matched five numbers and the Powerball this weekend.