Woman Finds Extra Protein (A.K.A. Dead Lizard) In Trader Joe’s Kale Salad

Close-Up Of Green Lizard On Kale Leaves Growing At Vegetable Garden. Photo: Brian Sketers / EyeEm (Getty)

Call it a hunch, but we’d be willing to bet most people who are super into their bodies and prove it by noshing on disgusting kale don’t make a daily routine out of eating asphyxiated reptiles. It simply wouldn’t make sense considering most people who avoid Trader Joe’s altogether still wouldn’t indulge in such a practice.

Grace Goldstein just wanted a salad, but she walked away with a little more than she bargained for (unless there is no actual trading going on at her local Washington D.C. Trader Joe’s, in which case, we call false advertising). However, she now has insider knowledge that lizards stop changing colors to adapt to their environment after death. She described the shock of the situation to People as follows:

It was a back and forth between denial and horror, which amounted to a lot of asking my boyfriend to see the bag of kale and identify the lizard and shrieking and pushing it away and refusing to go near it…and then asking to see it again.

If this is becoming a trend, we want no part of it: Finding A Dead Lizard In Your Meal Is More Proof You Should Avoid Salad

Goldstein’s friend Kate Berner posted the image above on Twitter with the caption, “I’m the number 1 #traderjoes apologist, but this lizard in my friend’s kale isn’t great…” Unfortunately for anyone thinking of shopping at TJ’s ever again, what she got in return were more horror stories from the grocery store chain (fortunately involving only hairs and not dead creatures):

We hear Sprouts is a lovely supermarket this time of year.