British Drug Suspect Has Refused To Poop Out Evidence For 24 Days (And Counting)

Photo: Wiebe (Getty)

Why they haven’t called upon Big Mike to “induce” the evidence retrieval is anybody’s guess, but a London gang member who Essex police officers believe ingested drugs before they arrested him 24 days ago has inspired #PooWatch because he refuses to take a dump while he’s in police custody.

According to Metro, Lamarr Chambers was under the impression that police didn’t have the power to keep him locked up while they waited for him to take a shit, so he refused to poop at the police station. That was on the first day, people.

#PooWatch has somehow reached its 24th day, and Chambers still has yet to crap out the goods. Even worse, police have decided to stop issuing updates on the situation.

That’s right, kids. Police were actually updating the public on Lamarr’s refusal to poop, complete with emojis and everything. Here’s just a taste of what they were throwing out there:

Day one: #London gang nominal arrested for failing to stop for police and possession with intent to supply class A drugs, male doesn’t think we have the power to keep him until he removes said items from his bottom.

Day six: Male is still with us and has just passed 120hours/ 5days without going to the toilet.

Day 15 today and no movements, unless anything changes overnight then we will be back to court tomorrow for the third time in this case requesting a further 8 days #poowatch #opraptor

Day 19: Today is day 19 and we still have no movement, male doesn’t seem to understand that eventually he will need/have to go.

And another thing, Chambers has already broken the record of longest time a British inmate has gone without pooping. The previous record? 23 days. And that’s the type of information that wins you trivia games.

Quite the idea: Florida Men Are Apparently Smearing Their Own Poop On Pier Rails So Nobody Will Fish Next To Them