Chinese Man’s Rectum Falls Out After Spending 30 Minutes On The Toilet Playing On His Phone

Photo: Vicheslav (Getty)

Shit or get off the pot, pal.

According to Metro, a Chinese man trying to take a dump instead crapped out 16 centimeters worth of his rectum while he was playing a game on his phone for more than 30 minutes.

The poor bastard was rushed to a nearby hospital last Sunday, and doctors there were able to perform successful gastro-intestinal surgery to remove it.

Just what was “it” this time around? You guessed it – rectal prolapse. And if you think that sounds like pretty much the worst shit on the planet, well, you’re in the ballpark, as a rectal prolapse “occurs when the last part of the intestines loses its attachment within the body and becomes visible outside the body.”

Doctors said the man has had the condition since he was four years old, but instead of taking care of himself, he’s been too busy playing Candy Crush on the shitter. This time around, the dude’s rectal prolapse had gotten so bad that there were blood spots and bruises along his intestinal wall.

Oh yeah, and there was than whole “rectum falling out of his ass” thing.

Our advice? Put the goddamn phone down, son, and take your medicine.

Exit only, buddy: Old Man Requires Emergency Surgery To Remove Sex Toy From Rectum