Saddam Hussein
IRAQ - JULY 01: Saddam Hussein Appears In A Courtroom At Camp Victory, A Former Saddam Palace On The Outskirts Of Baghdad, Iraq On July 01, 2004 - Saddam Hussein appears in a courtroom at Camp Victory, a former Saddam palace on the outskirts of Baghdad. (Photo by Laurent VAN DER STOCKT/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images)

You Can Buy Saddam Hussein’s Romantic Novel On Amazon

Photo: Laurent VAN DER STOCKT/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images

We were under the impression that Saddam Hussein was born without a heart, but it appears as though we were way off.

According to Metro, Hussein wrote a 160-page romance story in 2000, and you can now get your paws on it for your loved one on Amazon before the calendar hits Valentine’s Day.

Titled “Zabiba and the King,” the novel centers on a romance “between an Iraqi king and a lowly villager called Zabiba” who “discuss religion, nationalism and other heart-warming topics.” And oh yeah, there’s a hump session between a shepherd and a bear.

Image: Amazon

No, seriously. From Metro:

The novel contains one particularly odd scene during which a character describes, in great detail, a sex scene between a shepherd and a bear – which is thought to represent the relationship of Iraq and Russia.

Believe it or not, “Zabiba and the King” would actually be Hussein’s fourth novel, although there are some who believe he just oversaw each book’s “production” while other people actually wrote them. It’s unknown if any of those books received similar reviews to “This book was absolutely horrible” and “It is a complete trainwreck of a book.”

You may have guessed that both of those were left for “Zabiba and the King.”

Meanwhile, in Texas: The Texas Prison System Doesn’t Allow Inmates To Read ‘Where’s Waldo’ But Anything Hitler-Related Is OK With Them

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