Florida Man Uses ‘Large Dildo’ To Defend Himself Against Cops

Photo: Eillen (Getty)

You can always count on the state of Florida to deliver the most absurd, most bizarre and most hilarious pieces of news. And they’ve outdone themselves once again thanks to Donald Hornback.

The 71-year-old man decided to sleep on another man’s land, which forced the land’s owner to reach out to police to have him removed. But when cops responded to the trespassing call they were confronted by Hornback declaring that cops “had no right to remove him from the property.”

Florida Man Uses ‘Large Dildo’ To Defend Himself Against Cops

So what did Hornback do? Well, according to The Smoking Gun, “as Hornback gathered up his belongings in a backpack, the septuagenarian ‘picked up a large dildo and began to swing it around at the officers and the victim on scene.’”

Since cops don’t see a dildo as a deadly weapon, they didn’t use deadly force, although they were probably laughing hard. Eventually Hornback was disarmed (I wonder how) and taken into custody. Hornback is charged with trespassing. No word yet if the large dildo was taken into evidence.

And sometimes you fight off a robber with a dildo: Sex Shop Employees Fight Off Robber With Dildos