Here’s A Dude Who Got Arrested In The Lincoln Tunnel For Stopping Traffic So He Could Masturbate
Photo: Raymond Boyd/Michael Ochs Archives (Getty)
I also get excited every time I’m on the verge of getting in the Big Apple, but this is ridiculous.
According to New York Magazine, a 48-year-old New Jersey man was arrested last Thursday after he allegedly parked his van in the middle of the Lincoln Tunnel and started punching his clown.
Naturally, this didn’t help what was already a shitty traffic situation, and police were quickly on the scene to do their part to get it moving in a positive direction again. They unfortunately stumbled upon the cause of the backup this time around, and that of course was Ismael Esquilin jerking off in his minivan while it was parked but still running.
And it wasn’t just Esquilin tossing one off that officers found inside the minivan. In fact, if you find yourself wondering what would propel a man on this planet to do something like that, this should probably do the trick in terms of a sufficient answer:
“They also found a glass pipe and PCP.”
Yeah, it doesn’t matter whether you’re on the New Jersey or New York side of the tunnel, you can’t do that. Esquilin was arrested and charged with DUI, drug possession, reckless driving and impeding traffic. No word if he finished.