North Carolina Woman Tried To Castrate Her Husband With Her Bare Hands

Photo: Professor25 (Getty)

Here’s a story that’s way more nuts than it should be.

According to WWAY, a Jacksonville woman was charged with felony malicious castration and misdemeanor simple assault after she tried to rip her husband’s balls off with her bare hands during an argument in November.

woman tries to castrate husband

36-year-old Mitzi Hudson and her husband were involved in what policed dubbed a “domestic dispute” on November 20, and when officers arrived on the scene, they found the poor bastard “had been injured.” It’s unknown what the couple was arguing about, but it’s safe to say that attempting to remove the man’s grapes was uncalled for.

Police said Hudson herself was unhurt, and that’s probably because it’s hard to defend yourself after somebody tries to take away your family jewels using just their hands. They also said Hudson’s husband received medical attention at the scene and was then transported to a nearby hospital so his testicles could get the proper treatment.

Surprisingly, it took authorities until January 5 to take Hudson into custody. She’s now free on bond, which is awful news for her husband.

And his nuts.

Tough day when you get a beating just for dropping ass: Florida Woman Arrested After Beating Husband For Farting