Illinois Woman Nabbed After Stealing 31 Boxes Of Condoms

Photo: TEK IMAGE (Getty)

Whoa. That’s a lot of planned, protected fucking.

According to The Smoking Gun, a 25-year-old Illinois woman was arrested Tuesday afternoon after she stole 31 boxes of Trojan condoms of the shelves of a Schnucks supermarket in Swansea.

Store employees called 911 after they saw Shaearion Davis grab the jimmy hats and then followed her into the parking lot. When the cops showed up, Davis allegedly chucked the Trojans and tried to make a getaway. She obviously didn’t make it.

Illinois Woman Nabbed After Stealing 31 Boxes Of Condoms

woman steals 31 boxes of condoms

The bad news for Davis is that the value of 31 boxes of rubbers exceeds $300, so she’s now being charged with felony retail theft. Plus, since she refused to let officers at the jail photograph and fingerprint her, she’s being slapped with the charge of obstructing a police officer as well.

Davis says she’s innocent, and she’ll be able to plead her case in front of a judge on January 20. Hopefully for Davis’s sake, somebody forgets to give the judge the boxes of dick domes with her fingerprints on them, surveillance footage and of course, her “resume” that includes other theft convictions as well as a few outstanding arrest warrants.

Anybody else think this brandy tastes terrible? Florida Woman Tries To Steal Brandy By Hiding It In Her Vagina