Arkansas Man Arrested For Public Intoxication After Cops Find Him With Permanent Marker All Over His Face

Photo: Getty

The soul patch was a nice touch.

People do some crazy things while they are drunk. Like, I don’t know, stick a USB cable in their penis, or even run themselves over with their own truck. And now we have this dude.

According to The Smoking Gun, police found a 36-year-old man outside of a shelter in Mountain Home, Arkansas last week, and they knew he was hammered. Maybe it was the fact that he was “reeking of booze” or “holding onto a pillar for support” that led to them drawing that conclusion.

Or maybe – just maybe – it was the fact that somebody had taken a Sharpie and scribbled all over his face, presumably after he passed out for a bit and the end of one hell of a bender:

marker

Yeah, that was probably it.

That’s Luis Humberto Ramirez, and he looks just like I did a few dozen Saturday mornings when I was in college. Police said he was so shithoused that they were “unable to administer a Breathalyzer test” on him. Ramirez also had scratches on his face to go along with that soul patch and what looks to be a game of Tic-Tac-Toe gone awry.

Police were unable to identify the artist, who was a tad kinder than my buddies in school, as they always made sure that a giant Sharpie dick wound up on my forehead.

This is what a guy who humps his dog looks like: Florida Man Had Sex With His Pit Bull In Front Of His Neighbors