NASA Needs Our Help Because They Don’t Know What To Do With Astronaut Poop

Photo: NASA

Well, neither do I, but I’m an idiot.

According to Science Alert, the brilliant folks at NASA have come to a dead end in terms of figuring out what do with astronaut poop, urine and menstrual blood in the case of an emergency in space, and they’re now reaching out to the general public in hopes that there’s somebody out there who has the solution.

Photo: Tony Hutchings (Getty)

Photo: Tony Hutchings (Getty)

You see, astronauts haven’t been past the International Space Station in more than 30 years, so when there’s been an emergency in the past, they have just shit themselves and sat with a full “nappy” or diaper for a few hours while they made their way back to Earth. But now that the space program has their sights set on Mars, full diapers that will eventually overflow and “stick to other parts of the body” are no longer an option.

And since advanced calculus doesn’t cover solutions to fecal matter disposal, NASA is turning to those who are experts in dealing with shit: us.

That’s right, kids. NASA has launched their “HeroX Competition,” where you can win $30,000 if your idea is considered one of the top three ways to help our astronauts get rid of their solid and liquid waste. And just to make sure we all understand what they’re looking for, they have even dumbed it down and called it the “Space Poop Challenge.”

Our best advice is to just do what they do in Alabama and throw their dirty diapers out the window while they’re driving down the highway. Let’s hope somebody else comes up with a better solution than that.

But first, they should figure out how to film porn in space.

And then you have this a-hole: Texas Cop Fired After Trying To Give Poop Sandwich To Homeless Man