Preserved Bar Tab Suggests Our Founding Fathers Really Loved Their Booze

Photo: Adam Sargent / EyeEm (Getty)

It was of course British tea and not Irish whiskey that our Founding Fathers dumped into Boston Harbor to protest the Tea Act of 1773, but one of the reasons they never emptied whiskey or any other alcohol as a form of protest may been that there was none left to dump because they drank all of it.

I’m sure the founding fathers were better at beer pong than this guy and that’s mainly because they loved to drink.

According to The Huffington Post, a bar tab recovered from two days before the Constitutional Convention’s 55 delegates signed off on the Constitution shows our nation’s forefathers loved to get sauced to the point where they make Lindsay Lohan look like Mother Teresa.

Preserved Bar Tab Suggests Our Founding Fathers Really Loved Their Booze

Photo: Wikipedia

Photo: Wikipedia

Check this out:

“According to the bill preserved from the evening, they drank 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, eight of whiskey, 22 of porter, eight of hard cider, 12 of beer and seven bowls of alcoholic punch.

That’s more than two bottles of fruit of the vine, plus a few shots and a lot of punch and beer, for every delegate. Clearly, that’s humanly impossible. Except, you see, across the country during the Colonial era, the average American consumed many times as much beverage alcohol as contemporary Americans do. Getting drunk – but not losing control – was simply socially accepted.”

That’s great stuff right there, and it’s just another reminder that if you take out the war in our backyard, treating gonorrhea by injecting mercury into your infected pork sword, typhus and of course, dysentery, the Colonial era in America was the shit.

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