The amount of taxonomy that goes on in the world of movie fandom is absolutely astounding, from the folks who obsessively rearrange their massive motion picture libraries to the many writers who, like us, spend a rather large amount of their time writing lists of the best/worst/weirdest movies ever made for our readers to enjoy.
And sometimes it’s important to admit that we love taxonomy for its own sake. It makes perfect sense to, say, list the best movies of the year or the greatest political movies ever, the decision to list movie presidents who would (probably) be worse than Donald Trump is one we mostly made to amuse ourselves (and because we thought you’d think it was amusing too).
So in the spirit of total taxonomy, and because it’s the fifth day of the fifth month, today we’re looking at the kind of list that amuses the hell out of us: the top five movies that just happen to have the number “five” in the title, and aren’t sequels. It might seem like a silly premise but we AGONIZED over this, and we feel absolutely terrible for leaving great films like The Last Five Years and Five Deadly Venoms off of it. (We also debated whether Fast Five actually refers to five things within the movie, but near as we can tell no, no it does not.)
Enjoy!
The Top Five Movies With The Number Five in the Title*:
*That Aren’t Sequels
Top Photo: Shaw Brothers Studio
William Bibbiani (everyone calls him ‘Bibbs’) is Crave’s film content editor and critic. You can hear him every week on The B-Movies Podcast and Canceled Too Soon, and watch him on the weekly YouTube series Most Craved, Rapid Reviews and What the Flick. Follow his rantings on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
The Top Five Movies With the Number Five in the Title
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5. Top Five (2014)
Chris Rock wrote, directed and starred in this deeply personal comedy, about a comic-turned-actor who rediscovers his passion over the course of a lengthy interview with a fascinating reporter, played by Rosario Dawson.
Photo: Paramount Pictures
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4. Five Fingers of Death (1972)
The film that made the kung fu genre a hit in America also catapulted Chinese superstar Lo Lieh to fame, and introduced new levels of violence to the martial arts genre.
Photo: Shaw Brothers Studio
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3. Slaughterhouse-Five (1972)
This impressively faithful adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut's sci-fi classic finds a man scattered through time, living out every single part of his life simultaneously. A story that could have been confusing instead turns out to be universal, and philosophically rich.
Photo: Universal Studios
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2. Nine to Five (1980)
This classic feminist comedy stars Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dolly Parton as co-workers who kidnap their sexist boss and run the company more progressively in his absence. Empowering and totally hilarious.
Photo: 20th Century Fox
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1. Five Easy Pieces (1970)
Jack Nicholson gives one of cinema's most celebrated performances in Five Easy Pieces as a man torn apart by constant conflict, between hope and compromise, middle class values and wealthy upbringing, talent and a steadfast refusal to do anything with it. Significant, complicated and important filmmaking from Bob Rafelson.
Photo: Columbia Pictures
