Fair Warning: This review may contain minor spoilers, depending on how you choose to define them. (So if you think knowing anything at all about a movie constitutes a spoiler, you’ll probably want to stay away.)
I waited in the theater for over two hours, wondering the whole time when this overblown trailer for the DC Cinematic Universe was going to end and a movie about Batman and Superman was finally going to get going. Not that Batman and Superman aren’t present and accounted for. They’re in practically every scene. But they spend most of those scenes pontificating about what their mighty existence means to us mortals, and the movie ultimately seems to agree that the world would have been better off without them. That’s hardly the attitude you want a film to have when its biggest selling point is that there are a lot of superheroes you like in it.
Warner Bros.
Also: Why Fistfights Are Pointless in Superhero Movies
Like Man of Steel before it, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is a serious movie that exerts more energy on the real world ramifications of its characters than it does on the characters themselves. Director Zack Snyder knows how to film these new gods with handsome grandeur but he doesn’t seem to be having any fun with them. Every action sequence is dour and every plot point is severe, even when that plot point makes no sense whatsoever.
Here’s that plot, in a nutshell: nearly two years have passed since the events of Man of Steel, which left Metropolis in ruins after an attack by Kryptonian invaders. Superman (Henry Cavill) is now perceived as a hero or a monster, depending on who you talk to. The billionaires are particularly worried. Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) thinks Superman is too dangerous to live, and Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) seems to agree. They both spend half the movie concocting ways to rid the world of this infernal Superman once and for all, before finally getting around to it in the second half.
Warner Bros.
Also: What’s the Best Batman Movie Ever?
And if you thought that Superman didn’t act like Superman in Man of Steel, you will probably disapprove of Zack Snyder’s version of Batman. Affleck looks the part and the new costume is the best one ever, but this new Batman mutilates his criminals and kills without pause. Batman spends most of Batman v Superman acting like the film’s villain, and when you ultimately find out why – that is, the REAL reason why – it doesn’t speak very highly of Bruce Wayne. At all.
Meanwhile, Lex Luthor, played with aplomb by Eisenberg, has a dastardly plan but when he finally lays it all on the line like a corny James Bond villain, the scheme is so full of holes that it leaves the film practically pockmarked. And that right there may be the greatest tragedy of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. This film has turned all of its great characters into perfunctory plot points, in the service of a plot that doesn’t even work well.
Warner Bros.
Also: ‘Batman v Superman’ Will Be Rated R and It Means Nothing
Meanwhile, Snyder lets the film digress – often – in order to set up the DC Cinematic Universe that we are being promised in Batman v Superman‘s wake. And for every tease that works (there’s certainly one cameo that’s entertaining, if only in its daffiness) there are a half dozen others that land with a thud. Do you remember that scene in Avengers: Age of Ultron where Thor travels to a mystic spirit cave for no reason other than to pimp another sequel? You are about to meet that scene’s brother in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. But at least Wonder Woman, played with charismatically by Gal Gadot, seems pretty cool.
What Batman v Superman does offer – at the expense of almost everything else – is spectacle. Again, this film has been photographed with an eye for bigness. The action sequences are loud and crazy and even give Zack Snyder an opportunity to make multiple apologies for how his Man of Steel finale played out. If anything, Batman v Superman‘s action is so adolescent and over the top that you half expect the film to end with Emily Browning opening her eyes, having just finished another off-camera striptease in Sucker Punch.
So if all you want to see is a bunch of superheroes punching each other and blowing stuff up, you’ll probably enjoy what Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice has to offer. But I don’t think you’ll be appreciating this film the way it was supposed to be appreciated. This screenplay is “meaningful” in capital air quotes, and the grim determination with which the actors growl their philosophical arguments as the oh-so serious story plays out around them clearly suggests that we were meant to leave our brains on during the movie, instead of turning them off. And since Zack Snyder is practically demanding that we take this film seriously, that’s exactly what I will do. I’ll say it’s seriously disappointing.
William Bibbiani (everyone calls him ‘Bibbs’) is Crave’s film content editor and critic. You can hear him every week on The B-Movies Podcast and watch him on the weekly YouTube series Most Craved and What the Flick. Follow his rantings on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.
11 Action Movie Sequels That Overshadowed The Original:
Top Photo: Warner Bros.
Action Movie Sequels That Overshadowed The Original
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Captain America: The Winter Soldier
The first Captain America was took place entirely in World War II and evoked a classic adventure serial feel. The follow-up dropped Cap into the present day and upped all the stakes, as a sinister conspiracy damn near destroys America and our hero's best friend returns to kill him. Ambitious, action-packed, and game-changing for the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Photo: Marvel Studios
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The Dark Knight
Batman got his dignity back in Batman Begins, but with the origin story out of the way, Christopher Nolan was able to direct an intense follow-up that challenged our hero's ideals and gave him the scariest version of The Joker ever, played by the late, great, Oscar-winning Heath Ledger.
Photo: Warner Bros.
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Fast Five
It took five films for the Fast and Furious movies to finally get the mix right, ditching the street racing drama for an ensemble heist flick packed with crazy stunts and family values. Future films in this series may have made more money, but they all followed the template that Fast Five set for the series.
Photo: Universal Pictures
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G.I. Joe: Retaliation
The first live-action G.I. Joe movie made money but pissed fans off with its jokey tone and changes to the storyline. Jon M. Chu's follow-up still had problems, but it righted a lot of wrongs by killing off extraneous characters, fixing Cobra Commander and recreating a classic mountaintop ninja fight from the comics.
Photo: Paramount Pictures
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Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
Every Mission: Impossible movie so far has had a different filmmaker, so it makes sense that none of these movies felt like they were of a piece. But Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol seemed to unlock the right formula, and the superior fifth film Rogue Nation followed suit. Brad Bird's entry emphasized a whole team of bickering agents, increasingly impossible situations and fantastic, gorgeously photographed stunts.
Photo: Paramount
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The Road Warrior
The first Mad Max introduced us to a cop trying to stave off apocalyptic anarchy. In The Road Warrior the world has finally, officially ended and violent punks are fighting for the last of the gasoline, and our hero has abandoned his soul for pragmatism. Groundbreaking action scenes and a distinctive vision of the future codified the post-apocalyptic genre for decades to come. (And yes, Mad Max: Fury Road is even better, but time will tell how influential it is.)
Photo: Warner Bros.
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Spider-Man 2
Sam Raimi's original Spider-Man was the blockbuster superhero movie that defined the whole genre, but the second film upped the ante with a villain who actually looked cool (heck, Doctor Octopus looks fantastic), a more thoughtful storyline about the price of responsibility and a wicked sense of humor that treats our hero as a punching bag. Practically everyone still agrees that Spider-Man 2 is the best Spidey film yet.
Photo: Columbia Pictures
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Superman II
The first Superman made audiences believe that a man can fly, but it failed to take advantage of the action-packed possibilities. Superman II introduced a whole team of Kryptonian villains, led by Terence Stamp as the deliciously egomaniacal General Zod. Sure, Superman only fights them at the end (and he murders them all in cold blood as soon as they're powerless), but it's still the movie that everyone points to as the Superman flick that came closest to capturing the feel of the comics.
Photo: Warner Bros.
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Terminator 2: Judgment Day
James Cameron's original The Terminator was more of a sci-fi/horror movie than a proper action film, but in the sequel he turned it all around, empowering the heroes and teaming them up with Arnold Schwarzenegger's flesh-covered robot to fight an unstoppable liquid metal badass. Innovative visual effects, exceptional characters and some of the coolest action sequences ever filmed.
Photo: TriStar Pictures
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The Wolverine
X-Men Origins: Wolverine was such a colossal misfire that the marketing for Deadpool had to actually apologize for it. But even before that, The Wolverine was eager to get the character back on track with a film that removed his invulnerability (for a while anyway), and evoked the classic samurai stories from the comics. The Wolverine is the closest we've ever seen to an accurate depiction of the beloved comic book character.
Photo: 20th Century Fox
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X-Men: Days of Future Past
The X-Men movies helped make superhero films a popular genre, but the formula hadn't been figured out yet and most of the sequels floundered in confusing mythology and missed opportunities. Days of Future Past finally told one of the best stories from the comics, got it kinda right, and reset the whole continuity to set the stage for better sequels to come. Unforgettable action and clever reworkings of history made this even more popular than First Class, which was the first step in the right direction for this series since X2.
Photo: 20th Century Fox
